5 Ways Newborn Photographers are Like Darth Vader

by Joanna Booth

December 12, 2017

So…I’ve recently gotten into the whole Star Wars thing. I still don’t know what’s going on, but I feel like I’ve watched them so many times and sometimes I firmly say…I’ve never see that. It’s like the Matrix for me…what is happening? What is the matrix? How do they get in there. Anyhoo…I’ve seen episodes 1-3 of Star Wars years ago. But I just couldn’t remember it…as usual. I’ve tried to watch it on cable for free, but it’s been unavailable for months. Well, it’s free through 1/18/18 on Xfinity On Demand. So last night I watched the Phantom Menace. You can watch the preview here. (Images below that aren’t of babies…are clearly not taken by me, but screenshots from Google.)

Although this episode takes viewers back to how everything began before the later episodes…which were shown first (maybe why I am confused…too much brain gymnastics) Darth Vader doesn’t make an appearance…because he can’t yet. However I watched the episode to understand how Anakin becomes Darth Vader and how the “force is strong with this one.” There are several things that are iconic about Darth Vader and I thought it would be fun to list a few that would show how similar newborn photographers are to him.


His Breathing

You can hear it at this link in case you don’t know what it sounds like. Newborn photographers sound a lot like Darth Vader or have instruments that make those constant sounds. I use the Baby Shusher. See a cute video here on how to use it. It is the #1 thing my clients ask about. So much, that now my gift bags include it for them to take home, when I can keep them in stock. Lol! The baby shusher is a life saver. Prior to using it, I was constantly shooshing, humming, using low tones to get babies settled. I still resort to that if a baby is really upset…but the shusher eliminates 80% of that work for me.


All Black Clothing

Have you ever seen Darth Vader in any color other than black? (My kind of guy!) Each newborn photographer wears whatever they choose in a session. But my clients always see me in black on black. I never wear anything else. I wear my custom business cotton T-shirts that keep me cool…and dry fast if I get pee’d on. And I love my comfy maternity pants…from 7 years ago. I look professional, yet comfortable. It’s my jam!


Slow Intimidating Walk

Well…I wouldn’t say I do all that during a session. But! I move very slowly with babies to not disturb them. When I pass a baby off to mom or dad, it’s like I hear the opening to the Lion King, The Circle of Life…every.single.time! You can hear it here if you haven’t heard it. Oh, and the way he raises the baby up in the sky…I’ve done that while passing a baby to a parent before. Teeheehee!


The Force!

The force is powerful…and so am I, yah hah hah hah (in my most evil laugh). We have the power to move a baby into intricate positions. We have the power to get an upset baby settled. We are often called “Baby Whisperers.” Parents are pretty amazed at our ability to settle a baby.

Also, we have editing power to take a baby in a regular setup and make that baby look like it’s sitting on an elephant. Believe in the force of baby photographers!


Evil Villain That Turns Good

Darth Vader is very evil, but then turns for the good at the end of the movie. Babies may think we are super evil villains. Lots of babies just want to sleep for hours peacefully nestled next to mom, drink milk, and listen to cooing sounds. Welp, not me! I sometimes am perceived as the devil to your baby. Let me explain!

  • When babies come to me, we generally get them undressed. They are naked…how rude of us photographers! We keep it at 81 degrees so it’s not chilly, but that’s down right evil to a baby, especially if they are modest.

  • Next we take them away from mom and her sweet smells. Someone call CPS! Photographers are stealing babies and putting them in cute clothes, hats, and wraps oh my.

  • Then, we start slowly moving their bodies into pretzel positions. Like in Star Wars (I can’t remember the episode) where Luke, Leia, and Han were in the garbage compactor slowly facing their imminent death. Yes, at first babies are pretty chill. Then as I slowly move their bodies past the point of where they are laying flat…they think we are evil.

But in the end, after being patient and letting their bodies adjust, they actually love being balled up. Moms don’t know it, but their babies thank me with their little cooing sounds when they’re squished, warm, and wrapped up. It’s a secret between me and the baby. They love feeling like they are back in the womb. (when they are few days old, I might add) So I hope you enjoyed my post on comparing myself as a newborn photographer to Darth Vader! Contact me for your session today!




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